The pandemic and the lockdowns are taking their toll on us in one way or another. Most of us suffer from a kind of mental sadness, a slight decay of the spirit. That is why I remember very well what my friend, the psychologist Miguel Silveira, used to say. When a shoe hurts us, we put on a plaster; but we usually ignore that there are also plasters for the spirit. What happens is that they are not made of tape, but of acceptance, of a smile, of recognition, of self-esteem or of saying “thank you” or “sorry”. This is what Silveira affirms, in her book Strategies to live better (Alba editorial).
That everything is according to the color of the glass you look at is only part of the truth. The other is to give things the reality they have and see them in their exact dimension. Therein lie most of the problems. The proximity of events makes us see them with a size that is not real. Take a test drive. Remember a dislike you had long ago. Not for something irreparable, that is another question. A dislike for some concrete fact. Well, right now, with a distant perspective, does it seem ridiculous to have suffered so much from that? What has changed? Just the way you see it.
To be happy you learn
Those who are happy with what they have live well; those who have projects that excite and stimulate them; those that persist despite setbacks; those who use a sense of humor and do not allow themselves to be dominated by pessimism; those who reap affection and social support because they sowed it. Well, those are some of those strategies.
Happiness is learned and conquered. If learning is knowing and experiencing and if happiness is a state that is pleased in the possession of a good, that state can be achieved by recognizing every day the positive things that one has and that there are many.
Positive lessons are drawn from setbacks. Knowing how to discover them by transcending the negative side makes you happier than being trapped and anguished in adversity, the same as turning it into a challenge or challenge.
We tend to have self- esteem on the ground. We do not realize that we are all competent for something. So, you have to discover these personal potentialities and develop them, you have to behave as if you are important and valuable. That we are. Being different does not mean being inferior. Nor superior.
To pretend, without being, is to sell smoke. It is an artificial montage that disturbs those who practice it and prevents the establishment of sincere and trusting relationships. Whoever appears a lot, lies a lot.
Fear is the biggest emotional brake we have, and it MUST be overcome. We are what we think. And if you think you are going to be rejected, you will be; as if he thinks he’s a loser, he will be. You have to think positive, that’s the key. It is proven that 96% of our fears are never fulfilled.
Failure must be recognized and accepted; and then try again for success. You cannot confuse a failed performance with a failed person.
Have an intimate friendship. Sharing is always the best for happiness. If you have a partner, there is no better or more calming friendship than that of that partner.
The “being burned out” syndrome
It would be the opposite pole of happiness.
It could be defined as a psychological breakdown. There are few professional motivations, but they require almost complete dedication. The result is unmotivated professional practice. There is a permanent frustration (“I did not prepare for this, this is not what I wanted, my life is being spent in this that I do not care”). Little by little the sack of bitterness is being filled, until that devastation arrives that makes us say “I can’t take it anymore”. It is the reflection of job dissatisfaction. The symptoms could be summarized as fatigue, headaches, respiratory dysfunctions, sweating, feelings of poor health, loss of appetite, nausea, gastrointestinal problems, increased blood cholesterol, and coronary propensity.